15 Sep W2 | The Power of Self Control

Posted at 13:24h in October, Topics 2025 by

REFERENCE BIBLE VERSES

Proverbs 16:32 |Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. (NIV)

OBJECTIVE

Monthly Theme: Excellence in Relationship

  • To understand that our relationship with other believers is important as it displays Christ’s love in action, and lack of self control can damage relationships because it often leads to hurtful words, impulsive actions and conflicts that could have been avoided. 
  • To understand that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit that helps us respond with patience and love, instead of letting emotions rule over us.

 

CONTENT

Lack of self-control can damage relationships, as described in Proverbs 25:28, comparing it to “a city whose walls are broken down,” showing the vulnerability and destruction caused by losing control. Uncontrolled emotions can trigger words or actions that hurt those close to us, breaking trust and healthy communication. Self-control acts like the brake pedal in a car, stopping us from “crashing” into others with impulsive words or behavior. With self-control, we can delay anger and listen openly to others (James 1:19), keeping relationships positive and full of love. This attitude also shows great respect for others’ feelings, strengthening bonds of love and trust.

SELF CONTROL / PATIENCE IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH

 

The Bible clearly teaches that self-control is not a weakness, but a true sign of strength. In Proverbs 16:32, it says that a person who controls themselves is more valuable than a warrior who conquers a city. In our culture, reacting quickly is seen as “strong” or “confident.” But God says, holding back and thinking before acting is the true sign of maturity. Patience gives space for God to work before we jump in with our own solutions or judgments. Having self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) which reflects a transformed heart and character, not just something we achieve by our own effort. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of self-control: through all His trials and temptations, including those in the wilderness, He remained fully obedient without sin, even to the point of dying on the cross. We are called to follow Christ’s strength to overcome temptations, relying not on our own power, but on the empowering work of the Holy Spirit.

HOW TO GROW IN SELF CONTROL

  • Renew Your Mind (Romans 12:2)
    To grow in self control, we need to replace old thinking that is influenced by worldly desires with thinking filled with God’s Word. We can do this by often reading, studying, and thinking about the Bible to gain wisdom and spiritual understanding. When our minds change, we start to see situations and temptations the way God sees them. This helps us live with more discipline and control. Renewing our mind also gives us strength to think carefully before reacting emotionally.
  • Know and Avoid What Triggers Negative Emotions (Matthew 5:29-30)
    Jesus taught in Matthew 5:29-30 that we should “cut off” anything that causes us to sin — which means we must take strong action to keep ourselves pure. In daily life, this means learning to recognize situations, habits, or relationships that make us angry, anxious, or lose control. Practically, we can stop for a moment when emotions rise, take a deep breath, and think before we act or speak. Sometimes, staying away from stressful talks or changing routines that cause us to get angry helps us practice self-control.
  • Build Accountability and Community (Hebrews 3:13)
    Hebrews 3:13 says we must encourage each other every day to keep our hearts from being hard because sin tricks us. We cannot grow in self control by ourselves; we need a faith community to support and remind us with love. Joining small groups, having a spiritual mentor, or an accountability partner helps us share struggles and progress in self-control. Also, spiritual habits like fasting strengthen our discipline by helping our body obey God’s will and say “no” to temptation.

CONCLUSION

Self-control is not about never feeling angry, hurt, or frustrated—it’s about choosing the Spirit’s way over our flesh’s impulse. Self-control tells us to pause, and by pausing first before reacting many relationships could have been saved.

REFLECTION/DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  • When was the last time you reacted too quickly and wished you had waited? What could you have done differently?
  • In what area in your relationships do you need to practice more “pause” before reacting?

REFERENCES