REFERENCE BIBLE VERSES
Proverbs 18:13 |To answer before listening— that is folly and shame. (NIV)
OBJECTIVE
Monthly Theme: Excellence in Relationship
- To understand that making assumptions can harm relationships because it leads to misunderstandings, false judgments about others and misguided responses.
- To understand that as Christians, God calls us to seek the truth in love, listen with humility and not to rely on our own assumptions.
CONTENT
BAD ASSUMPTIONS RUIN RELATIONSHIPS
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Assumptions Preempt Reality
One of the most common ways assumptions manifest is when we create narratives in our minds about what others are thinking or doing. In the absence of clear communication, we fill in the gaps with our own interpretations. This can lead to misjudgments about people’s intentions. For example, if a friend doesn't respond to a message immediately, we might assume they are angry or avoiding us, when in reality, they might just be busy or dealing with personal issues. This preemptive assumption blocks honest conversation and fosters unnecessary tension in the relationship. -
They Fuel Unfiltered Reactions
Assumptions also tend to influence our emotional responses. When we believe something without verifying it, we often act out of those beliefs, without taking a moment to pause and reflect. This unfiltered reaction can be harmful because it’s rooted in an imagined reality, not truth. -
Fracture Connections and Ignite Gossip
When assumptions are left unchecked, they can quickly turn into rumors or gossip. The way we "interpret" a situation can become distorted when we share it with others. This ripple effect can lead to misunderstandings spreading beyond the original person involved, fracturing relationships and eroding trust.
JESUS CONFRONTS ASSUMPTIONS WITH TRUTH
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Assumptions about Sin and Suffering
In John 9, Jesus’ disciples encounter a blind man and assume that his blindness is the result of his sin or the sin of his parents. This assumption was rooted in the common belief of the time that suffering was a direct consequence of sin. However, Jesus challenges this assumption by stating that the man’s blindness is not due to sin, but rather to give God’s works an opportunity to be displayed. -
Religious Leaders’ Spiritual Blindness
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus regularly challenges the assumptions of the religious leaders, particularly the Pharisees. The Pharisees believed they were spiritually superior because of their strict adherence to the law, yet Jesus often exposed their self-righteousness and lack of true understanding. He confronted their assumption that outward behavior equaled inward purity, teaching instead that true righteousness is a matter of the heart. -
Truth over Prejudice
Jesus also confronted cultural and social assumptions, particularly those related to prejudice. In John 4, Jesus speaks to a Samaritan woman at the well—a scandalous act at the time because Jews did not associate with Samaritans. The woman herself assumes that Jesus is like every other Jewish man, and questions why He would speak to her. However, Jesus challenges this assumption by offering her living water and revealing Himself as the Messiah.
This moment is a powerful reminder that Jesus’ message of love and grace transcends societal norms, prejudices, and assumptions. He does not allow the assumptions of culture or tradition to dictate how He engages with people. Instead, He offers truth that breaks down barriers and calls us to challenge our own biases and assumptions when we interact with others.
CONCLUSION
Assumptions are like blinders that prevent us from seeing the truth. When we operate on assumptions, we risk damaging relationships and missing out on deeper understanding. Just as Jesus confronted false assumptions with truth, we are called to seek the truth and challenge the assumptions that cloud our judgment. By listening carefully, questioning our preconceived notions, and responding with grace, we can build stronger, more authentic connections with others.
REFLECTION/DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- Can you recall a time an assumption hurt a relationship you value? How was it resolved?
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What can you do to avoid assuming motives/passing judgements?
Examples:
1. Examine your assumptions: Take some time to reflect on the assumptions that you make in your daily life. Are there any assumptions that you have made that may not be accurate? Think about how these assumptions may be affecting your life and relationships.
2. Seek the truth: Instead of making assumptions, try to seek out the truth in situations. Ask questions, listen carefully, and gather evidence before making conclusions. This will help you make more informed decisions and avoid misunderstandings.
3. Challenge assumptions: When you hear someone making an assumption, don't be afraid to challenge it. Ask questions and encourage them to seek out the truth. This can help prevent misunderstandings and promote healthy communication.
4. Practice empathy: Instead of making assumptions about other people's intentions or motives, try to put yourself in their shoes and practice empathy. This can help you understand their perspective and avoid misunderstandings.
5. Let go of assumptions: Finally, learn to let go of assumptions that are no longer serving you. Holding onto outdated assumptions can prevent you from growing and learning. By letting go of these assumptions, you can open yourself up to new experiences and perspectives.
REFERENCES